Olympic Journal
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Dear Friends,
This journal was initially created to share my training journey to the US Team Trials and (hopefully) to the 2008 Olympics. As chronicle below, I didn’t go to Beijing, although I did win three more US Gold medals at Nationals in 2007, becoming US Champion again after a 15-year “retirement”. I took 2008 off to “do a Tiger Woods” — a complete overhaul of everything I know about T’ai Chi. It was a really good year — sometimes really frustrating, but I have learned so much from my coach, Jing-lin Wei. This journal will continue to track my training progress. Join me as I talk about the training process, and the competitions I attend along the way. UpdateDrTaiChi @ 4:08 pm June 24th, 2009 A quickie set of updates on training and competition: I came back into competition this year with the intention of trying out for the US Team one more time – and I did it for the most ridiculous of reasons. I wouldn’t have to travel very far. This year, the trials were held in Cupertino, my old stomping grounds – a short plane ride away from my house. What the heck, I thought, how can I NOT try out? So Coach Wei and I put together a competition routine and I started to work on “gettin’ down.” I mean getting low… er… Sinking Down. In any case, I was training with Coach 4 days a week again. It felt great, and I was learning a lot. In Berkeley, I won a first (for 24) and a second (for 42) – against basically no exceptional competitors, proving once again that my greatest competition is going on inside my own head. But I did have some breakthroughs there with my kwa – which I took back to the training with Coach Wei. The next tournament was in San Diego, where I was competing against Jonathon and Paul – both strong athletes. I love competing against these guys. We basically traded around winning each round we were in – I took a 1st, a 2nd, a 3rd and a 4th. But during the open division – where I was testing out my competition form for team trials – I injured my knee. Well, actually my back went out first on Sunday night – the first time that’s ever happened in my life. And then a week later my knee swelled up and I was pretty convinced that I had a torn meniscus. Fortunately, my back went back to normal, and my X-rays showed no tears (only a bone spur). But in the interim, I did some real soul searching. Why was I trying out for the team? I don’t even like the version of T’ai Chi that the wushu people are doing these days. As Coach points out all the time, it’s not even T’ai Chi! The only reason I was competing was… for ego. And realized I’m not into that. I’m thanking my body for forcing me to take some time out to get my head straight. Oh-I’ll still compete I’m sure, but it will be in more traditional competitions, and it will be just for fun. In fact, you’ll notice that the new tag-line for the website is: “Because Learning T’ai Chi Should Be Fun!” And besides… I want my knees to last so I can teach T’ai Chi to my daughters. Baby DutyDrTaiChi @ 3:11 pm December 15th, 2008 Question: what’s worse for your practice than being sick? Answer: trying to practice with a baby clinging to your chest! Last week I gave Sparky her birthday present — one week without having to take care of any children. Let me tell you, I have developed an entirely new respect for women everywhere. I honestly don’t know how the species has survived for the past 500,000 years, because it is almost impossible to focus on anything else besides the baby. The baby needs food, the baby needs changing, the baby needs a toy, the baby needs lots and lots and lots of attention! Seriously, I love my daughter even more than ever. It was a bonding week, for sure. But T’ai Chi practice? Not so much… I Hate VirusesDrTaiChi @ 7:39 am December 1st, 2008 Last week — first week of training on my own — was a rocky start. Only got in a few very light practices. Of course, being sicker with the flu than I have been for as long as I can remember didn’t help any. Good news is, today starts a new week, and I finally feel human. On My OwnDrTaiChi @ 6:27 am November 24th, 2008 Well, Coach has gone home for the holidays. It’s been more than three years since he’s seen his family or his teachers, so he’s very excited. But he’ll be gone for almost two months, which means I’m training on my own for all that time — and I want to actually have made some improvements by the time he gets back. My plan is to improve my flexibility and my endurance. This means #1) getting consistent with daily stretching workouts, #2) working to double the distance I travel while doing my stepping drills, and #3) racking up a ton of run-throughs of my forms — minimum goal: 100 each by the time Coach gets back. So I’ve put up a tally sheet above to keep me motivated (and honest). Don’t Wear the Green PantsDrTaiChi @ 10:18 am November 10th, 2008 Here are some of the other breakthroughs I had with Coach last week: 1. Getting better at keeping the chin pulled back, head projected upward; and tucking the tailbone under. Makes the back straighter, and Coach says I actually do this best in my Chen practice. Focus the MindDrTaiChi @ 8:30 pm November 9th, 2008 Wow. Seems like I had a year’s worth of breakthroughs, all in this one week. It all started in a session with Coach a couple of weeks ago. Once again, we were working with my right knee. It’s always so unstable, and can collapse inward without warning. My left knee and hip are “perfect,” and I never have any trouble with my transitions on that side. Coach (so patient) pointed out again that my knee should be out – pointing toward the toes. I started to analyze the problem in terms of the kinesiology. I suggested that I probably should try to strenthen the gluteus medius, and really work on stretching out my inner thigh. Obviously, the shortened adductors and hip flexors pull on my femur, causing the inward collapse of the joint. Coach was very quiet for a long moment, and then he said, “You know in China we don’t talk this way. We just say you have to use the mind to push the knee out and fix it.” Immediately, a part of me wanted to argue and say Hey if it was that easy don’t you think I would have done that already? But then it hit me that what he was talking about was a mind-muscle connection that went even deeper than what I thought I knew. I asked myself, “How do I know that I can’t control my knee? Have I really tried or do I give up when it’s too hard?” So I cleared my mind of everything except keeping the knee over the toes. And it worked. It’s still very difficult, and if I lose my concentration my knee will collapse again… but it is definitely getting easier. This, Coach says, is called I Nien — focusing the mind. I see now that this skill — which every T’ai Chi student talks about — is deeper than I ever realized, and it must be trained by turning your attention on the very connections that seem so impossible. A Return to DisciplineDrTaiChi @ 6:23 am October 27th, 2008 Up at 5:30 this morning. I’ve been getting up this early for a while now, but it struck me this morning to make a note — sort of declare today as my official return to training discipline. Last week I started training with Coach four days a week again, and I noticed immediate improvement. We’re almost finished with the Chen 36 forms, although it is only last week that I felt at all relaxed. It’s like Coach has said so many times — if you want to test whether you are really relaxed, if you have started to grasp sung, then practice Chen style. You can think you’re relaxed in Yang style (like me), but get down into these low stances and attempt fa jing and you’ll stiffen up like a piece of old wood (like me). So now I’m up at 5:30 every morning. Sparky and I have agreed to split the week — I take care of the Bug M/W/F while she’s in the studio (with breaks for me for training with Coach), and she’s on Bug duty T/Th/Sat while I’m in the studio (with breaks for training). But I still need to get in all of my cardio conditioning and my flexibility training every day, so I get up early enough to change the Bug’s diaper and feed her, then we sit by the fire while I stretch. Totonto and the 2009 World Championships is only 8 months away and there’s still lot’s to do. Sword RiddlesDrTaiChi @ 5:49 pm September 25nd, 2008 Worked with Coach on the sword today. I recently asked him to start working with me on the sword, since I know I won’t have him around for two months while he’s gone to China. Plus I really enjoy the beauty of the sword, and I’ve always wanted to get better at it. Now we train on day a week on the Chen form, and one day a week on the sword form. Today we worked on the basic moves “block upward left and right” and “uppercut left and right.” The moves seem so simple, yet as soon as I put a sword in my hand, I lost even my basic footwork. I had to out the sword down to go back to empty hand practice. In reality, the footwork for both these movements is the same as in Brush Knee. Why does it feel so different? The thing is, Coach Wei says this is very common. As soon as a student picks up the sword, he says, “they get a different feeling.” But in fact this is an illusion, and something to overcome. The movements should be performed just the same whether it’s empty hand or with weapons. One should merely imagine that the hand and arm has grown longer — and everything else is the same. So why the illusion? There must be a principle at work here. Hmmm… I wonder what it is… UpdateDrTaiChi @ 3:33 pm September 21st, 2008 “Chop wood, carry water” seems like a boring story to tell to others. Is anyone interested in reading that “today I worked for a solid hour on the third phase of the basic T’ai Chi step?” Then my next entry would be, “Today I worked for an hour and a half on the third phase of the basic Yang T’ai Chi step.” I’ve been working on my basics all year long — basics of Yang, Chen and Wu style. Last week, I asked Coach Wei to watch my 24 form. At the end, he nodeded his head and said, “Excellent!” (He never says that!) It was an amazing feeling. Hmmm… the chopping wood, carrying water is paying off… In the Family NowDrTaiChi @ 5:56 pm August 1st, 2008 I’m so excited — Coach WEi is going to be teaching at my studio now! I already have several students on my schedule and I’ll be happily transferring the to his schedule. And I’m sure new students are coming… Remembering Chen StyleDrTaiChi @ 9:59 pm May 22nd, 2008 Well, it’s been 6 months of lessons with my coach, and I’m finally starting to feel more comfortable with Chen style. I’m amazed at how hard it’s been! I’ve learned Chen before — I did some seminar work with Chen Xiao-wang, and took classes from Feng Zi-zhang when I was in Beijing in ‘91. But this time is the first time I’ve studied it to learn it the right way — really to understand the nuances and principles the way I understand yang style. So it’s been a challenge. My body is only slowly adapting to the new style of movement. Most interesting (and annoying) of all is that my brain has been refusing to remember all my stepping drils and new moves. The combinations are not that much more complex than the Yang style drills — although they are definitely more physically demanding. But finally… after 6 months… I’m FINALLY starting to remember the moves on my own. Now we’re rolling. (Oh, and by the way, my secret training is also going very well.) Learning Push HandsDrTaiChi @ 8:44 am May 14th, 2008 In less than 3 months my baby girl will be here! P (Sparky’s 4 year old) has taken me under her wing to teach me how to be a Dad. Some of my Dad lessons are deliberate — like how to find a public restroom in the mall when your toddler has to go potty NOW! Some of them are just spontaneous, like developing the skill of patience when you’re trying to get her to brush her teeth at bedtime. I’m learning all over again all my Push Hands princples. It’s definitely a lesson in power versus force. Of course you can force a 4 year old to brush her teeth, but that’s just bullying — and I see plenty of clients at 40 who are still trying to work through that childhood experience. When the Teacher is ReadyDrTaiChi @ 1:29 pm May 4th, 2008 … the student will appear. All of a sudden, I’m extraordinarily busy. I don’t think I’ve taught this much T’ai Chi since I left Hawaii more than 10 years ago. What’s so wild is that I literally had no time off. My last full day at Montage was Saturday, and my first full day at Full Circle was Monday — and by Thursday my entire week was cmpletely booked. We didn’t even have time to put out any special advertising that I was available for new clients — they just started calling out of the blue. There are two things that I get from this right away. 1) This is definitely what I’m supposed to be doing, and it’s the right time; and 2) I think I may need to clone myself. Rules of AttachmentDrTaiChi @ 5:18 pm April 29th, 2008 I was just talking to Sparky about a set of principles she learned that she called “attachment rules.” Here’s the list:
When I first came to work at Montage a lttle more than two years ago, it was exactly the right time. I was ready to take on a new challenge and meet new friends and colleagues — and yes, learn many new skills and ideas. And just now I’m clear it’s time to move on. I’m stepping down as Wellness Manager so that I can start to be a Full Circle Fitness full time. I’ll be staying on at Montage as their resident personal/Executive life coach, and to keep giving my special lectures on the Art of Joy and the Art of Romance. As always, now that I’ve made a choice, there has been a shift in the energy of life. I can feel new possibilities approaching! David-Dorian is 50 and……Remember Scott Baio? You know, Chachi from Happy Days? Well I just found out he’s got a reality show called “Scott Baio is 46 and pregnant.” Hmmm… it must be going around because guess what? So am I!!! Well, not me, but Sparky is and that means I’m going to be a Dad! I’m not going to tell the long version of the story here, but here’s the Readers’ Digest version: I had already made up my mind to ask Sparky to… you know… the “M” word… . I’d bought a ring and was planning to ask her on Christmas day, but I was keeping it a big secret, and was actually setting her up for a big surprise by saying things like “I don’t think we need to get married, do you?” Then one night I come home and she’s sitting in the kitchen holding this little stick. It’s got a little pink plus sign on it. Well, you fill in the rest on your own. So this is already destined to be a big year. Got engaged, bought a gym, having a baby… think all this will affect my training? Stay tuned. (Maybe I should pitch my own reality show. Hmmmm….) Being Tiger WoodsDrTaiChi @ 8:30 am January 14th, 2008 2007 was a high moment in my study of T’ai Chi Ch’uan. I found a great new coach, trained really hard — probably harder than I’ve ever trained — and came out of retirement to win three new national goldmedals. I learned so much. One of the things I realized is that over the last 25 years I’ve developed some really bad habits. These “bad habits” are so very subtle — in fact most people never notice them. They are mostly minor deviations in alignment, foot placement and weight distribution. But my coach notices them, and what’s more important, now I notice them. So… I’ve decided that this year I’m going to do “a Tiger Woods.” I’m going to completely deconstruct my Taiji form, go back to the beginning, and re-learn my T’ai Chi from scratch. Without bad habits. I’ve already starte — and it’s really challenging. It’s not so much that it’s too physically demanding. But both my body and part of my mind resists doing my Taiji differently. Each time I force myself to do it right — without compensating for structural weaknesses — part of me rebels, as if to say, “come on, you know you can make this look good if you just cheat a little. Nobody will know. Look — you’ve been a champion for 20 years. Why change now?” I wonder if this is how Tiger felt? Year End ThoughtsDrTaiChi @12:19 pm December 24th, 2007 — Christmas Eve On Saturday, I invited my coach to see our new studio in Corona Del Mar. He was very impressed, and I’m hoping I can get him to start picking up clients there. The conversation turned to my training, and he asked me what I had planned for the coming year. Great question. The next Team Trials is in 2009. As I think about it, I’m drawn to the idea of a two-year strategy to blow the next Team Trial off the charts. I came so close this year, with less than a year of working with my coach (less than 9 months, really). Just imagine what two whole years of preparation could bring! I’m taking the week off to rest and plan. Training starts again in 2008. See you then! Toothless WonderDrTaiChi @7:45 pm November 23rd, 2007 Day after Thanksgiving Day, but this entry isn’t about the holiday. In fact, I probably wouldn’t normally include this entry in my journal, except that something kind of unusual happened yesterday. I got my tooth pulled. I’ve been having problems with one of my upper front teeth since Spring, and I’ve been back and forth to the dentist several times. I was told that the tooth was going to have to come out, and the best solution would be a bone graft and an implant. Well, that was the last thing I thought I’d want before the Team Trials in July, so I had decided to delay it as long as possible. Then I didn’t want it to get it pulled before Houston, and then it was Chicago… But as soon as I got back from Chicago I started to have some real problems with it. I got my second abscess in as many months, and it was not only really painful, the side of my face swelled up like I’d been punched. On the referral of a friend, I called a woman who has turned out to be the greatest dentist in the world, and she arranged to get an oral surgeon to take out my tooth, and a lab tech to make me a temporary bridge so that I didn’t walk around looking like a hockey player all on Thanksgiving Day. The tooth came out with a whole lot of cracking and sawing, and gobs of pus came out. It was painful, and inconvenient and kind of depressing. I went to bed with a mouthful of gauze and a head full of vicodin. But that’s not what I want to write about. What I really wanted to write about was how I felt when I woke up this morning. My jaw still ached a little bit, but mostly… I felt great. I had a lot of energy – more than usual. It felt like I’d just shed lead shoes that had been slowing me down for so long I didn’t even register that I been going slow. It felt so good that I had to tell Sparky about it, and she pointed out that I’d been walking around with a low grade infection for months. Wow. What a drain that’s been on my whole system. Maybe I should have gotten my tooth pulled last Spring after all. Preparing for HoustonDrTaiChi @8:55 pm November 4th, 2007 Since I got back from Houston, Coach has been teaching me the basics of Chen Style. N fact, we haven’t practiced any 42 or Yang style for the last couple of months, so the only time I’ve worked on them is when I’m at work practicing with my clients or with my staff. Now that Chicago is only a couple of weeks away, we went back to looking at the 42 form again. First off – my stances are stronger than ever, and my footwork is so much steadier. The Chen practice is great conditioning! But I’ve also been working on softening. One of the basic principles of Freedom is to “Invest in Loss.” To let go. As I watch the video of my performances in Baltimore, I thing I look stiff and tight. I remember being concerned in the competition about the quality of every move. “I’ve got to do this right,” I thought. “I’ve got to make this move perfect.” I realized that during practice, I add a layer of tension – in order to make it more martial (?) To make it look stronger (?) But Coach and I talk all the time about the concept that the true inner power lies hidden in the softness. So investing in loss involves (first) peeling away the layers of tension that unconsciously lie on the body. The result is I feel so much lighter and smoother in my movements, and rather than looking weaker, my movements actually appear stronger than ever. EnlightenmentDrTaiChi @8:55 pm October 6, 2007 There is an old Zen saying, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” I certainly wouldn’t call myself enlightened – and I don’t equate going to team trials or Nationals with pursuing enlightenment. But I definitely have a sense of completion after all this summer’s competitions. Since the last time I wrote an entry in my journal, I’ve gone back to… basic practice. I’m working on basic drills even more than before team trials. I’ve found a real joy in them. I could actually just walk the length of the gym for 2 or three hours, practicing my basic steps. Some nights I don’t even do any forms – or maybe just one section. After competition, chopping wood again. And it’s good. Now I have TWO groups of basic drills to practice every day. I’m really diggin’ learning Chen style – it’s something I’ve wanted to do forever. It’s so completely different than Yang style. It demands even more out of the legs. Wow. It’s like carrying water. US National ChampionshipsDrTaiChi @ 12:04 pm August 21, 2007 [Written on August 6th] Wow! So many things are going through my head right now, all battling for the head of the line to get written down! They’re like unruly children, fighting to get in line to go outside for recess. I’m in Houston, and I just finished competing in the USAWKF National Championships – and won 3 more national golds (and 1 silver) to add to my list! I won in the 45-54 age group Advanced against some pretty good competition (although I wish I could have competed against a really talented Chinese guy named Johnny – but he’s only 34). OK – so what does this mean to me? Well, it feels like a bit of a confirmation after Baltimore. Recognition for solid training and “good quality.” At the same time, I think I actually had a much stronger day Saturday than I did in Baltimore. My training in the last two weeks with Coach Wei has just taken me to a new level. My taiji performance really is better than it was three weeks ago. You know, Houston was where I won my first national gold medal in ’87. And Houston was where the disastrous team trials were held in ’95. Don’t really know if that all means anything… but then again of course it does… Team TrialsDr.TaiChi @ 10:24pm August 5, 2007 I haven’t written about Baltimore until now – mostly because I’m still processing a lot of what happened there, and it’s deep stuff. I also wasn’t sure how much of that deep stuff I wanted to put on the website. Maybe later. Or maybe I’ll save it for the book. But I’ve been getting a lot of emails and phone calls from my friends who want to know what happened, so here goes: The scoring and results part is easy to report. First things first: I was not chosen for the team. Then again, they didn’t select ANY T’ai Chi people for the team. They also didn’t select any Southern Fist people for the team. (These are the three main categories that will be in the Olympics: Long Fist, Southern Fist and T’ai Chi Ch’uan. It’s a little strange to pick a team that’s entirely Long Fist, but on the other hand it’s a coach’s perogative to form the team he wants. On the other other hand, now there’s going to be two whole events in the Olympics, the World Games and the Pan-Am Games that this US team won’t even be competing in.) There are three sets of scores given in the team trials that make up an athlete’s total score for each performance. The “A” score rates overall performance quality; the “B” score rates technical skill and quality of movements; and the “C” score rates how you do on your special difficulty moves. The C movements are basically acrobatics – those are pre-selected jump kicks, splits etc. You actually have to tell the judges what you plan to do before you perform. (All the T’ai Chi people I know think it’s really weird to have acrobatics required for T’ai Chi now. It’s great for Long Fist, but weird for T’ai Chi.) My C score was zero, because I chose not to add any acrobatics. I stuck to Classical T’ai Chi. Now here’s the good news. My A score was 4.8 out of 5, and my B score was 2.7 out of 3. Think of the combined A and B score as my technical score. Looking at these scores separately, I had the highest technical scores for all of T’ai Chi (and Southern Fist too, come to think of it) and the third highest technical scores in the entire competition, out of more than 140 competitors. (Did I mention that this was the larges team trials in U.S. history?) Bottom line: I had a really good performance. I caught one of the judges nodding his head in approval at the end of my routine, and that’s always a really great sign. My coach has a friend on the judge’s panel (won’t tell me who it is) who told him, ” Your student’s quality is really high!” But far beyond my scores, I think the real victory was in showing up and doing better than I did 12 years ago. The performance I gave in Baltimore was the one I wanted to give at the last team trials in ’95. But it’s not just about doing better athletically. In the end, I find that neither winning nor losing define me, measure me, limit me, or even elevate me. You see, it’s never too late to do the things you want to do in life – to re-create choice point moments… and choose differently. The victory lies not so much in the outcome – it lies in the choice itself. Oh and by the way… I’m not done training. I’ve actually just finished competing in the US Nationals. But you’ll have to wait for those results… at least for a little while! Countdown: 1 Week to TrialsDrTaiChi @ 10:13 am July 6, 2007 It’s all about the mental training now. Physically, I’m in peak condition. I’m exactly at my goal weight, I’m maintaining good flexibility and my legs are like steel pistons, man! My form flows and the new choreography is no problem. (People love the new kicks — go figure.) Even the sword form has come together. Yep — the main training is now from the neck up. And the question is basically, “How do I keep from choking?” Time and again I’ve seen that in practice my form is perfect – good timing, flow, depth etc. But then when I go to perform it I get nervous. I can feel the qi rising up into my shoulders and neck. I stop breathing and inevitably I wobble or fall or make some stupid mistake. But then afterwards I’ll just be goofing around and I’ll do the same section — even the whole form again — and it’ll be perfect. Best ever! DeAnna says it’s like I’m holding on to something (like constipation?). So I’ve been meditating on what I’m holding onto, and I think it comes down to this: I’m attached to having people love my performance. I realize that in my head there’s a constant monologue: “Oh I hope they like it I hope I don’t make any mistakes I really want to wow them I want them to see how good I’ve gotten I’ve worked so hard and so many people are supporting me and I don’t want to let them down and I don’t want to let my coach down and I really want to go the Olympics. “Please God let me nail this kick — no wobbles, no wobbles — Jeez I wish I was more flexible….” And BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!! Oh my God, I AM constipated! And suddenly I see the basic principles of the Law of Attraction at work. What’s the first principle? There is a distinction between affection (people like my form) and attraction (people are irresistibly drawn to my form). Second principle? When we’re in our natural, balanced and authentic state, we’re natural attractors (super magnets). Third principle? The opposite of attraction is repulsion. And Dude — all that inner monologue is like a 9.5 on the repulsive scale. What’s Repulsive?
Countdown: 16 days to TrialsDrTaiChi @ 9:00 am June 27, 2007 A new snag. Last night I went to register on-line for the trials and there is a form I have to fill out listing all the difficulties I will be performing in each section of my routine. Can’t even register without the list. So now, two weeks before the competition, I have to come up with a new routine. I can’t use the routine I’ve been practicing for the last nine months. (On the brighter side, I also now find that the official time limit is much shorter. The optional routine is only 3.5 – 4 minutes. Wow — I can do that in my sleep!) But it really has me pausing to consider a larger question: do I really want to learn to do Taiji in this new way? It’s not really even Taiji. Last night my coach told me his teacher called the people who advocate this new style, “T’ai Chi Sinners.” That’s pretty heavy. Am I really supposed to go to the Olympics? The part of me that wants to go so badly is pure ego. I’m not that driven by the outer battle — by winning competition. What I love so much is the training itself. The inner battle. What is the significance of these Olympic games? If I’d never had the goal of going the Olympics, I never would have met Coach Wei, and I never would have learned all that I have in the last year. One thing is for sure: Olympics or no, I am truly better at Taiji than I have ever been in my life. Countdown: 19 days to TrialsDrTaiChi @ 2:42 pm June 24, 2007 What part of the Hero’s Journey am I in at the moment? Feels like the chapter called “The Hero gets Beaten Up.” This weekend… how many things can I count that went wrong…? Went to Shark City Nationals tournament in San Jose this weekend. Did not begin well at all. First off — my flight got cancelled. Of course, that was after sitting in the airport for six hours while they kept saying our plane would be ready in another half hour. Finally the airline said the plane couldn’t be cleared to fly, and there were no more flights until the next morning but we’d be happy to put you up in a hotel (and give you $5 for food). By the time I collected my luggage and got into my room it was already 11:30. The next flight out was at 6:45 am — which meant I had to be up by 4 am. Well, I made the next morning flight alright (after barely 4 hours of sleep), and got to the hotel in San Jose with just enough time to dump my luggage in the room and run down to the convention center (thank God it was right next door to the hotel). I checked in just as they were announcing the 15-minute warning call for my first round. That’s when I discovered that I’d left my white uniform — the one I had planned on wearing — at home. I wound up wearing my old faded blue uniform instead. The rest of the day went more or less downhill from there. Although I wound up winning the Chinese division Grand Champion — and 3rd place in the nighttime finals — my scores were really low all day. I couldn’t keep my balance on any kicks, and every routine had major wobbles. At the end of the day I was hungry, exhausted, burned out and beat up. There was one high note (well, actually more than one, since all day long random people kept coming up to tell me how much they liked my T’ai Chi performance). By the end of the day, I’d performed eight different times. I was so tired by the last nighttime final that all I could think of was just getting it over with. There wasn’t an ounce of stage fright left — and there hasn’t been any since. Countdown: 23 days to TrialsDrTaiChi @ 8:37 am June 20, 2007 Well, all the conditioning and cardio is paying off — I dropped 5 lbs. this week, back to almost my goal weight. I feel trimmer and lighter again, and my digestion’s better. But Oh Man! By last night my legs were so thrashed that I couldn’t do a whole set at practice. In fact, I could barely do anything. I couldn’t sink down at all, and my legs felt like lead. Every time I tried to step it was like dragging my feet through wet cement. So we took it easy, and worked on refinement of some positions and transitions. We’ll see what Thursday is like — I’m taking it easy for the next couple of days. Countdown: 25 days to TrialsDrTaiChi @ 12:40 pm June 18, 2007 Took a couple of days off to rest. Usually by Friday night I’m just exhausted. I need to cut out my early morning appointments on Fridays so that I can sleep longer. I really wanted to practice my sword form yesterday — but there was no time. Fathers’ Day and all that stuff. But I did get to the gym to do my cardio and get my conditioning in. It feels good to start that up again — and I WILL get back down to my target weight again. Best part of yesterday’s workout: my splits are coming along verrrrrrry nicely. Countdown: 27 days to TrialsDrTaiChi @ 1:44 pm June 16, 2007 I found some old pictures of myself when I first joined the San Francisco Wushu Team back in ‘84. Twenty-three years ago. Holy Cow! I look so lean. I remember being so broke in those days that I’d go to the store on payday and buy the giant sized package of spaghetti, a 5 lb. bag of potatoes and a pound of butter and that’s what I lived on for 2 weeks. Pure carbs and fat. How the hell did I survive? Food is a challenge. I put on 5 lbs in the last month — 8 since Hawaii. I get hungriest on the way home from work, and just before I go to sleep. And frankly, I’m ravenous. Why is that? Countdown: 28 days to TrialsDrTaiChi @ 3:23 pm June 15, 2007 Wow! What a great practice last night. Once again the timing was right on the money. But more importantly, my sense of flow was the best it’s ever been. As Mozart said, “anyone can play the notes. To be a master one must understand the space between the notes.” I practiced in my two new uniforms — they look great, especially the white one. Oh — and I fixed the last problem I’ve been having with my kicks. Woohoo! I feel taller today. I added back in my body conditioning, and I worked on back last night. How weak our postural muscles become if we just let them go. (Well… hopefully it’s not just an age thing.) Countdown: 29 days to TrialsDrTaiChi @ 5:09 pm June 14, 2007 I had thought that I’d be able to cut out body conditioning 2 months before trials – but I found out that really didn’t work. In fact, I think I’m going to need to be doing conditioning right up the week before. Otherwise, my body just starts to lose strength and endurance. I’m going to need to keep doing cardio 4+ times / wk. I should probably swim 2-3 times / wk, and also lift weights 2-3 times / wk and have a reformer session every week… and I need to STRETCH EVERY DAY. Countdown: 30 days to TrialsDrTaiChi @ 8:37 am June 13, 2007 Last night I ran through the 42 form twice (plus several small sections)… and finally hit my time right on! The first run-through I was at Tiger Strike (movement #40) at 5:16 — and then I slowed down and finished at 5:56. But the second run-through, I finished the whole form right at 5:46. Perfect timing! It’s only 30 days to Team Trials, and I don’t yet feel ready. My 42-form is pretty solid, but I wouldn’t consider it world-class yet. On top of that, I’m performing without adding any difficulties to the routine, so (according to the rules) the highest score I can get is an 8.00. But I want it to be a PERFECT 8.00. Only my sword form can save my composite score. There’s no difficulties required for the sword form, so I can go all the way to 10.00. Unfortunately, it’s not ready. I don’t even have the whole form down yet. But I’m more determined than ever — that’s still my strength. I’m also starting to see my form from a different point of view: how can it look more beautiful? How can it look more interesting? What would make people turn their heads and drop their jaws? One part of me is worried about not having really high kicks. But there’s another part of me that says that’s no as important as the right Spirit — the right power and flow. SurprisesDrTaiChi @ 5:43 pm May 21, 2007 After 12 years in retirement, I had my first competition this weekend: the San Diego International Martial Arts Championships. I won first place in two divisions! I was surprised by a lot of things this weekend. The level of competition was surprisingly good. There were 3-4 other guys who were really good – one who was phenomenal! Unfortunately he didn’t compete in my events; I would have loved to go up against him. Interestingly, all of those other competitors were Chinese. I guess one of my other surprises was that I was the only non-Asian in the field. I was surprised by the confidence my friends had in me. De Anna was there, of course, and my student George came down. When I first got to the tournament I saw that were a lot of people down on the competition floor warming up, so I went down to meet them and say hello. When I came back to our seats in the bleachers De Anna said, “Oh you are so gonna kick ass!” (Way to get into the spirit! ) When I took first place in the 24 form, George just said, “Well of course!” But I was stunned that I didn’t have the same confidence in myself. When I finished the 24 form, I actually thought I sucked! I was worried as I went into the round for the 42 form – will I get it all right? Will I be as good as the other guys? I wonder… what would my performance have been like if I had just gone in totally and absolutely confidently? What if I had been certain that my form would be flawless and inspiring – and would make mouths drop open and bring tears to eyes? (The one competitor that was so amazing De Anna nicknamed “Bendy.” He looked absolutely confident 100% of the time. He looked like knew – even without getting on the floor – that he would be the best. That’s the way I need to be.) Want to know one of my biggest surprises? I was stunned at how nervous I was. I remember that when I used to compete a lot, I would sometimes be a little nervous, but mostly pretty mellow about everything. But I was really anxious. I mean, I was hoping nobody would see how much my hands were shaking! Twelve years since my last competition – this could have been my first tournament. Just a TasteA lot of people have written to me curious about what the competition is going to be like at the Olympics. Here’s a little video about what I’ll be facing. I’ve got to be better than these guys.
InboundDrTaiChi @ 3:30 pm March 24, 2007 On my way back to Orange County — the “big tournament” behind me. The bad news is: I didn’t even get to compete. As it often happens, it took forever for my division to start. I waited from 8:30 in the morning until 2:55 in the afternoon. My round was almost ready to begin — but 3pm was my drop-dead deadline to get a cab and make back to the airport in time to catch my flight. The good news is that having the tournament as a goal forced me to train harder. I was ready to go today with the 4th section, and without the motivation of competition I probably wouldn’t have been ready. I went mostly to prepare my mental game, and even though I didn’t actually stand in front of judges, I did practice my mental tactics. I went to the venue the night before and scouted the location. I worked out transportation from the hotel, and I kept myself rested and warmed up all day. I also got progressively less nervous as I watched the other competitors. Of course, I don’t know exactly who would have been in my round, but I was watching all the earlier T’ai Chi divisions, and I didn’t see anyone that I would have been even the tiniest bit worried about! I did see one young guy performing the new “optional” free-style Taiji form (withdifficulties”). The T’ai Chi part looked laughable — and the jumps and kicks looked do-able. At least some of them, anyway. OutboundDrTaiChi @ 4:57 pm March 23, 2007 On my way to Oakland for the UC Berkeley Wushu tournament. It’s my first time in competition in 12 years, and I’m just the tiniest bit nervous. I keep having fantasies of getting out on the carpet and completely forgetting my form! But I’m not here to win at forms. I’m actually here to practice being in front of judges again. No matter what happens with my routine, or what score I eventually get, this is a practice in the mental game. It’s actually a really good challenge in the mental game, since I barely know the 4th section! Can I win the mental game knowing that I have a handicap going in? Because if I can win the mental game when I know I have a weakness, then I’ll be sure to win every time when I have none. My legs are getting really strong — in fact, stronger than ever. Conditioning is going very well. I think I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been. I had a huge breakthrough in sinking down into my hips, which helps me stay rooted and stable as well. Even my kicks are getting higher. And by the way — this morning I weighed in at 159.4 lbs! ContinuityDrTaiChi @ 8:00 am March 3, 2007 Last night we worked on continuity and we also discussed some strategy for competition. Continuity is the 5th basic principle. It’s not so easy – we learn the movements one by one, but we must perform them without stopping. It’s amazing how much time it shaves off the performance, and even takes less energy. Most important, it just feels different. You can feel the qi flowing in a way that’s different. On another note, I’m also getting more aware of how weak my hip flexors – and how hard it is to strengthen that muscle. Hmmm… gotta develop a plan for that. A Clear TargetDrTaiChi @ 10:27 pm February 22, 2007 Yesterday I found out that the USAWKF has posted the dates of the national team trials: July 6-8. It makes the whole process of training a lot more real now… and a lot more scary! Definitely it’s time to accelerate my training. I been working with Coach since the end of summer – and I’ve only just finished the first section. I just graphed out a training program and it’s clear that I need to finish with the whole form by the middle of May so that I can make refinements over the course of June – and then take a week off before the competition. Olympic Training CenterI’m so pumped! Coming back from the AAAI conference in Colorado Springs, I stopped for a visit at the Olympic Training Center. Wow! I visited several of the gymnasiums, and of course watched the mini-documentary on the history of the U.S. in the Olympics. I’m pretty sure it was written for maximum tear-jerker value. Then I went to the store. May I just say that I now own enough Olympic paraphernalia to open my own shop. I bought key chains and pens, t-shirts and warm-ups, posters and pins. I even bought a gold medal, so I can hang it on the wall for inspiration. ‘fessing upDrTaiChi @ 10:05 pm January 12, 2007 It’s been a while since I wrote in this journal, and to be honest I’ve been finding it a challenge to write. To be accurate, I’ve been finding it a challenge to write where everyone could read it. Funny, considering that was the point of an on-line journal in the first place. I guess I wasn’t prepared for how embarrassed I’ve been for being corrected. Not just corrected, actually. My coach literally took me back to the beginning… started me out on basic techniques all over again. Back to footwork again. No forms, not even complete sections. After 30 years! From the first day, he started tearing apart everything about the way I’ve been doing T’ai Chi for years, and that felt… demoralizing. (I was going to say “humiliating,” but that sounded a little over the top dramatic.) The first week of practice I realized I was depressed about my training. I figured out pretty quickly that I was depressed because a part of me had become aware that I was going to have to start over from scratch. Not that I mind, really. The depressed part of my mind got over it pretty quickly, and was only a small part anyway. I’ve loved working with a coach. I’m not in a hurry to get to anyplace — I’m looking for quality. Quantity (as in learning a whole form, or new moves) means nothing if it’s sloppy. So I guess it makes sense that last night, when I finally nailed the whole first section 3 times in a row, it suddenly dawned on me that it’s been 12 years since I’ve worked with a coach. Plenty of time to develop a whole lot of bad habits. Even one year to correct them all is pretty fast. I’m patient. I’m focused. This is for the gold. Isagenix Cleanse, pt. 2DrTaiChi @ 7:43 pm November 28, 2006 Well, the last time I did the isagenix cleanse I whined about it so much my friend called me a big baby! in truth, I was surprised at how much my body resisted releasing the toxins – that’s what all the headaches and body aches represent. literally, my body was going through withdrawal, just the same as any other addict. It made me contemplate how much we are unconsciously addicted to all kinds of things – whether it’s certain kinds of foods, or other life habits. most of all, we are addicted to certain patterns of thought and emotion. it’s our thoughts, feelings and perceptions that create the inner filters that eventually govern the decisions and choices we make in life. we’re addicted to certain patterns of life because we keep repeating the same decisions and choices. and we make those same decisions and choices because we’re addicted to our own thoughts and feelings. Don’t think we’re addicted to thoughts and feelings? then try giving them up. try giving up a long-held thought or belief. your mind will resist and fight against it as surely as my body fought against releasing the toxins during my cleanse. you’ll go into withdrawal. T’ai chi practice demands that we release our addictions. balance and harmony must be fluid and flexible – or it’s not really balance and harmony. addiction is a condition of restricted Qi flow. Wherever addictions exist, there is no freedom, nor power, nor flow. to progress farther in t’ai chi ch’uan, you have to cleanse regularly, starting with the body. Despite my whining, i actually thought the Isagenix cleanse was superb. i felt so much better after the cleanse cycle – cleaner and healthier. I’m recommending this product to all my students. and by the way, I haven’t had coffee or any other caffeine in nearly a month – and no desire to, either. Guess I’d Better Get SeriousDrTaiChi @ 11:12 am November 8, 2006 When I arrived at the training center last night, I almost fell over. my old coach Wu Bin was visiting from beijing. he is always such an amazing source of training tips and insights. he knows exactly what all the judges will be looking at, and so his critique is like gold. he zeroed right in on the most challenging yet subtle part of my training: my body is simply crooked. over the years, my body’s developed both lower- and upper-cross patterns. my hips are out of alignment, my shoulders look too tight and my head doesn’t sit on top of my shoulders. but I know that these compensations can be dissolved, and i know my body can return to natural, neutral alignment. it’s just a really slow… I mean ****ing frustratingly slow… process. which motivates me to start doubling up my workouts. t’ai chi ch’uan practice is part of the strategy, but so is all my Pilates and daily massage. then again, maybe to list all of that is redundant, because everything is t’ai chi. Isagenix CleanseDrTaiChi @ 6:01 pm October 27, 2006 I’m on a special cleanse right now, working on balancing out my internal chemistry. This is the theme of this phase of my training, it seems: finding balance. Finding my neutral — my chemical/nutritional neutral, my structural neutral, my mental/emotional neutral. Because until I find neutral I can never surpass the level of results I’ve achieved in the past. So I’m on this cleanse, and today is a fasting day. OK, well, there are supplements, snacks and liquids to take 3 times/day. And I can have a little salad. But right now, I’m hungry, cranky and I’ve had a headache all day. I am so ready to run out for a pizza (which is something I never eat anyway!) But every time I think of cheating on this cleanse, I remember that this is a choice. So I’m going out for a salad. It’s a StartDrTaiChi @ 9:11 pm October 25, 2006 There are approximately 650 days between now and Beijing. Every second counts. This will be my Olympic Journal — join me on my journey, won’t you? Check back every couple of days to see what’s new. |
